Under the Spotlight with Lily Walford

Business card :

Name – Lily Walford

Nationality – English

Occupation – Relationship and dating coach

Countries lived in – UK

1.What is a Relationship and Dating coach?

A relationship & dating coach is someone who empowers people to enjoy love to its fullest capacity and to do that you have to understand yourself at a deeper level but what other relationship coaches miss out on is it’s also being able to see and understand others at a deeper level too. When we can see the truth within ourselves and within others we can then date successfully and safely in a way that leads to long lasting relationships. 

We have an edge where we train women to read men at a military grade level – see the truth in 6 mins or less.

This we have achieved through having a partnership with the World Leader In Behavioural Profiling – Chase Hughes, who has trained over 2400 intelligence operatives and we are using this research in the dating world to ensure that women are dating safely. 

Currently 1 in 3 women have experienced physically abusive relationships and in 2017 we have lost 30,000 women to their abusive partners/ex partners. 

This work saves lives.

2. Why did you decide to start working in this field?
When I broke free from an abusive relationship, that started me on my journey of understanding the makings of a healthy and loving relationship.

From there I left my corporate job as an accountant and set up Love With Intelligence after training in several different areas as a coach, hypnotherapist  and NLP trainer.

Having experienced being stalked for 5 years by an abusive partner, I realised that all the personal development in the world will not stop a manipulative person entering your life, there needed to be a way to spot it fast and disarm them before the “game” began.

I asked Jonam (who had been working with Chase Hughes as a trainer) how to stop someone from stalking me – after sending a few tailored messages provided by Chase the person stopped messaging and stalking altogether!

This made me realise that if my clients ever went through anything like that, I need to be able to replicate that result.

After going on Chase’s Advanced Training, I knew this was exactly what my clients needed – and Chase was kind enough to share his research  so we can potentially save thousands of lives worldwide together.

3. How your work is different than the other experts in this field and why IWC members should turn to your services
We are the only dating and relationship company that has partnered with Chase Hughes to bring cutting-edge research to the world of women. 

Our training is different because it shows you exactly how human beings work, shows you your own vulnerabilities (and helps you overcome them), shows you how to see deception (and truth) in real-time in a conversation, rather than finding out later, also it is designed to keep women safe without limiting their options, and is built upon $30million of government-backed research into human behaviour and influence.

4. Is there a common strategy that a woman can build to avoid toxic relationships?
Big picture answer:  she needs to look inwards and do the inner work so that her natural standards and relationship with herself (confidence and self-esteem) will allow her to see the red flags and make the right decision for herself rather than feeling pressured to “go along to get along.”

Short term tips: in an interaction, look out for emotional mirroring / empathy markers (absence of these indicates narcissistic or manipulative personality), a very revealing question is to ask what they’re most grateful for – do they use it as an opportunity to connect or do they use it as an opportunity to brag?

5. How long does it take for a woman to realize that her date is not appropriate according to your practise and how long this takes after working with you?
With our online dating training they can “weed out” the inappropriate partners, manipulators and time-wasters before even speaking to them – and with our behavioural profiling training women can see behind a person’s “social mask” and into their deepest needs, fears, insecurities, and attitudes within one interaction – within 6 minutes by the end of our training. 

We also have an online training program where women can also learn how to read online dating profiles, by looking at just the photos. Our in house trainer has the amazing ability to detect criminals and the specific crime committed from just a few photos. Within online dating being an only option in this current lock down, it’s been more important for women to adapt safely so they can enjoy their love life regardless through online dating.

6. Are you specializing in working with females only and if yes – what are they?
Yes, for now – the Pick Up Artist (PUA) community has been teaching men how to use advanced influence and manipulation tactics on women since the 90s and so we are “levelling out the playing field” to empower professional women in their love lives.

We currently have several programs which you can check out on our website. Our most popular program is the Love With Intelligence Program, sharing with women how they can heal from the past and attract the right relationship with love and passion.

7. How would you describe an inspirational woman?
Someone who strives for more, who isn’t afraid to push herself to get the best out of all aspects of her life. It’s a woman who pushes herself outside of her comfort zone to benefit herself and others around her. 

8. What is the knowledge women get after working with you?

– See a person’s thoughts and emotions that they may never admit to out loud;
– Identify stress, deception, and secret shame in a conversation – get to know a person more deeply than their closest friend knows them;
– Learning to see (and use) body language with the same training that Intelligence Operatives receive;
– See a person’s hidden needs and fears, know what will “trigger” them, and how to get the best out of an interaction with them;
– Knowing how a person makes their decisions, what their driving force is and their lifestyle priorities;
– Keys to creating a deeper connection with the right person, how to create instant rapport and harmony and make someone feel completely comfortable around you;
– Become a version of yourself who lives the life of your dreams and inspires others around you to do the same, by your example alone
– Outgrow the unconscious triggers, fears, toxic patterns and insecurities which have been secretly sabotaging your success in life and relationships
– Learn the attraction and influence “tripwires” that make your words 100x more compelling than you previously thought possible;
– Conversational frameworks to put people at ease, bring them out of their shells, and have it feel like it was their idea to do so;
– Develop natural leadership skills and learn how to be commanding without being bossy or overbearing.

9. According to your practice, what is the definition of a toxic partner, beyond the obvious?
Someone who is manipulative, coerces you into betraying your core values, makes you feel insecure or taken advantage of, treats you as a non-priority, expects you to treat yourself as a non-priority and always put their needs and desires ahead of your own wellbeing.

10. Do your clients often feel guilty for their partners’ behavioural issues?
Many women can feel guilty around the way their partners behave,  the truth is that it’s not their responsibility to “manage” another human being. Sometimes we can find that women have been “gas lighted” into being emotionally controlled by their partner, which is common in narcissistic relationships. This is why we have released a course to support women to identify and disarm narcissists.

11. Who is your best client – a short description so IWC members can relate?
Case study: I’d actually struggle to pick a “best” client as all of them have been fantastic and I’m so grateful for working with such amazing ladies.

I’ll use a different name for this lady but “Jane” had a huge transformation with us. 

When we first met Jane, she was struggling to leave her abusive ex. He had moved out, but they were still sleeping with each other. She said “I’m too scared to walk away, because I’m too scared to be alone and to go into the unknown”. 

Within a week of working together, she said goodbye to him for good. Which was a huge deal! But the transformation after that was incredible!

She went from being terrified and shy of chatting to men due to her childhood, to being confident in herself and clear on what she wanted! 

The excuses of “how can I date when I’m a single mum?” went out the window and she started to live life to the fullest again.

Jane is now in an amazing relationship with a guy that she approached at an event! This was the shy woman who previously struggled to look a guy in the eyes!

But from working with us, she could identify and attract the perfect partner for her. Now they are in the midst of moving in together. 

12.Can we say that working with you could save us time and troubles?
Definitely – the average time of new relationships is 3-6 months before realising that they are incompatible.  The investment of time, energy, privacy and emotions, not to mention the potential feelings that many women experience, feelings of abandonment, rejection, shame or feeling stupid over yet another failed relationship.  

We are proud to train women with the skillset to read a person within 6 minutes, this way they don’t have to risk dating the wrong one and most importantly they can date safely!

13. What are the 3 most important words to be careful with if we are on our first date with someone, so we can recognise him as problematic. Is there such a thing?

I wouldn’t say words as such, as words only count to a very small percentage of communication (most believe it’s only 7% of communication with 38% being tone and 55% being body language.

But here are a few things that you can look for which can be “red flags”

  • If they lack empathy. To spot this, watch their face during a conversation to anything that should make them feel sad or happy for you. Narcissists will usually fail to show true empathy. 
  • A huge “red flag” that I suggest that all women take seriously is that if their date will not take “no” for an answer. Even if it’s over the smallest of things, your wishes should be respected at all times. 
  • See if the conversation flows and if they ask you questions, as most if the conversation remains all about them that’s also a big red flag!  

14. Does your program apply to all ages, geographic locations and backgrounds?
Yes – our training is rooted firmly in the study of human beings, and although there are a handful of differences in body language depending on the region a person is from, 99.9% of these behaviours are universal and genetically inherited regardless of culture.

15. Do you organise events and where can IWC members meet you in person?
We will when the quarantine is over!  In the meantime we do run monthly events hosted over Zoom and are active in our FB group.

We are also running a free week long Love With Intelligence Communication Bootcamp for anyone who is curious to learn more about what we’ve spoken about.  

16. What would you wish International Women Connected platform?
To have the love life of your dream, as it’s possible! Life is too short to settle! A life filled with love is a life well lived. Plus there is nothing better than making memories and building a life with a loving, supportive partner.

17. How can IWC members get in contact with you? (Contact details):
FB Group –

Instagram –
Linkedin –